Joshua 4:4-7, “So Joshua called together the twelve men he had chosen—one from each of the tribes of Israel. 5 He told them, “Go into the middle of the Jordan, in front of the Ark of the Lord your God. Each of you must pick up one stone and carry it out on your shoulder—twelve stones in all, one for each of the twelve tribes of Israel. 6 We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future your children will ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ 7 Then you can tell them, ‘They remind us that the Jordan River stopped flowing when the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant went across.’ These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever.”
If Pastor Russ and Pastor Tim would let me, I would make a pile of stones in the Southeast corner of the youth room at Living Word. Why? Because it is holy ground. God performed an incredible miracle in my life at that very spot exactly 15 years ago today. The work that God did in my life on May 9th, 1997 at that very spot is no less important to me than God stopping the flow of the Jordan River, allowing the Israelites to cross into their promised land. If I could point to any one moment in my life that I truly surrendered my life to Jesus, it would be at that moment. It’s the night I encountered Jesus in a way I never had before, and never have since.
I had been attending the youth group at Living Word for about 3 months. It was my junior year of High School and I had finally decided to take my best friend, Ben Breeden, up on his invitation to come to his youth group. All through high school I had attended another youth group. It was a youth group that in retrospect was probably more concerned about losing their remaining youth than actually discipling them. So rather than teaching us the word, they enticed us with the promise of fun games and good snacks. Due to some drama amongst my peers I no longer felt welcome at the Youth Group and began attending Living Word.
Gabe Barreiro was the Youth Pastor at the time. Gabe was so faithful to preach the word each week and teach us how to worship Jesus! Every single week we would have a chance to respond after the sermon, or during worship to the work that Jesus was doing in our lives. Week after week, I resisted the kindness of Jesus that was leading me to repentance. Week after week, I thought my heart would beat right out of my chest as I imagined the possibilities of what would happen if I actually surrendered my heart to this Jesus who had healed the sick, raised the dead and conquered the grave! This Jesus who was calling me to forgive, just as I had been forgiven. This beautiful, dangerous Savior who was asking for nothing less than my entire life.
By the time I was 17, I had allowed bitterness, un-forgiveness and hatred to enter into my heart. That darkness actually provided me with a sense of security and control over my circumstances that I hadn’t found through healthier means. My Dad died in a helicopter crash (Firewood One, September 11th, 1980) when I was 5 months old. My mom got remarried when I was 6. She married a former A-6 pilot who had become a Lutheran pastor. My new Dad lovingly adopted me and gave me his last name. It’s funny how set in your ways a 6 year old can be…
By the time I was in middle school I resented this man who had come into my life and ruined the only family dynamic I had ever known (12 year old kids can have a certain flair for the dramatic). I began to search for the biggest middle finger I could find and promptly changed my name back to Mahoney when I found it. 5 years later Jesus began to confront me through His word and by His Holy Spirit.
Every. Single. Week.
My bitterness, hatred and un-forgiveness could only survive the onslaught of God’s kindness for 3 months. 3 months after attending the youth group at Living Word I found myself at a Lock-In. I had been expecting to drink soda, play games and watch movies all night when I was blindsided by the overwhelming grace and mercy of Jesus Christ early on in the evening. During a response time in worship I finally gave my heart to Jesus, ALL OF IT. As Jesus lifted the bitterness, hatred and un-forgiveness from heart I collapsed on the floor, overcome by His very near and immediate presence. His light drove the darkness out of my heart and replaced it with a deep sense of His Holy Spirit living in me. I sobbed and sobbed tears of joy on that carpet in the Southeast corner of that sanctuary. Never again have I experienced the nearness of God in that way – it would be unnecessary. In that moment God anchored my soul in the reality of His chain breaking, captive releasing, dead raising, unyielding, relentless, healing, redemptive love.
On May 10th, 1997, my parents were celebrating their 11th anniversary. I came home from the Lock-In and told my dad that I loved him, that I forgave him and I asked for his and my mom’s forgiveness. Reconciliation is such an incredible thing. God has more than restored the wasted years I spent not knowing how to process such a radical change in my young life. I am so thankful that God saw it fit to give a boy who had lost his dad, a new dad who wouldn’t settle for being a step-dad to a fatherless, hurting son.
I haven’t looked back since. I’ve had my doubts and I’ve had my rabbit trails, but I have never looked back. 15 years later I am even more convinced of God’s reckless love and grace that he lavishes on his children. I may not be able to build an alter, but very soon I am planning on taking my children to the place where God set me free. We will visit the very spot that God led me into the life he wanted for me all along. Like the Israelites I will tell my children, “This is where God performed a miracle. This is where God gave your daddy a new heart.”
whidbeygrace 